I've been hit on the head with a tire-iron and stalked by a French-Canadian midget clown. When I was 7 years old, there were 49 different reptiles and amphibians living in my room. I've met Iron Chef Morimoto and sampled his sushi. My oldest friend and I are mentioned by first name in Neil Gaiman's SANDMAN. A hormonally-enraged iguana once bit off the ball of my left thumb. My first two novels are currently out of print but can still be ordered from Amazon.com resellers and found at many of the better (and no few of the worst) used bookstores. In 1996, one of my short stories caused the anthology it was in to be briefly pulled from K-Mart shelves nationwide. Since my writing barely pulls in a couple of thousand a year (if I'm very lucky), I work at Kinko's to pay my bills. I hate the general public. In my spare time I practice Pai Lum kung fu (badly; your aged grandmother could beat me up) and Chinese lion dancing.